Anxiety. That’s what I woke up with today. First thought went straight to graduation and beyond and then the cat, who’d been on audio surveillance at least for a few hours, heard me stirring and started whining for breakfast. Fed him, shot off some e-mails, and now I’m listening to this god-awful band named Odelay from the UK and popping the keys. My school books haven’t arrived yet and it’s the third day of classes; I ordered them six days ago, and they (per the emails I’ve received) should be here. I have tons of reading to do and then the writing. Lots and lots of that, which is fine.
Oh shit! Are those my books? Nope, just the UPS man being lost, and now I’ve got Goddamn pants on. Take that, me.
Also, thoughts have turned to money, which is a strangler. I’m already feeling like I’m backed into a post-graduation corner. A big part of MFA consideration is to keep my deferments rolling. I’m hoping for a miracle, I think. That’s how it feels.
Today I sing a hopeful song in minor chords, cross-hatched by a thousand vocal tracks over a single, driving, bass drum. See you tomorrow.